The Kid
by milford
Summary: A street kid causes some problems for Steve.   Rated T to be safe for some violence.
1. Chapter 1

The Kid

By Milford

Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me, I just borrowed them for entertainment purposes. No money is being made.

This story was started many years ago! It has taken me a great deal of time to finish the story, and even now I am still playing with it. I have had much help and advice from various friends over the years, and if those people are still around, they will know who they are and I thank them most sincerely. Because this has been such a long-standing saga, I don't want to risk offending people by naming some and forgetting others. But most recently, Sharon has been a great help and I thank her for her insights and help.

Steve becomes involved with a young street kid who stirs up a lot of trouble.

Chapter 1

Steve was exhausted as he drove home, both physically and mentally. The events of the day had drained him completely and he wanted to do nothing but crawl into bed and shut out the world. Most of the time he loved his job, and he wanted to believe he was making a difference in the world, but there were occasions when he really despaired and he'd just lived through one of those days. He remained preoccupied as he entered the beach house, not even realizing at first that Amanda and Jesse were there with his father.

"Hey, Steve." Mark's cheerful voice broke through his gloomy thoughts.

"Hey, Dad, Amanda, Jess…" Steve looked up at his father and friends.

"Steve, what's up?" Mark's voice became worried as he quickly detected the signs of strain in his son.

"Rough day, that's all." Steve spoke softly and they could all see the truth behind the quietly spoken words.

Steve walked to the bar and poured himself a drink. Part of him wanted to retire to his own living quarters, but the other part of him wanted the soothing company of his father and friends, so he went and sat down on the sofa.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mark persisted, hating to see his son looking so depressed.

Steve shrugged, he didn't think he did, but the words seemed to pour from him before he could stop them. "I was called to a store robbery today after shots were fired. The perp got away and escaped down a back alley and I followed…." Steve took a big gulp of his drink. The others waited patiently, although Mark had moved over to sit next to his son. He was grateful for the fact Steve appeared physically unhurt, but he knew there were other injuries that could be sustained, and he'd certainly suffered something during the day. Suddenly he reached over to Steve's shoulder to give it an encouraging squeeze. Steve grinned in appreciation, knowing he'd made the right decision in not going down and hiding out. Although his father couldn't change what had happened, he always knew how to cheer him up and his eternal optimism was something Steve felt in need of at that moment. A reminder that the world wasn't all bad. Dealing with the seamy side of life day in and day out took a toll at times, even on his normally calm disposition. He relied on his father more than he would admit to help balance things out for him. Jesse and Amanda watched the interchange; Jesse again feeling some envy at the closeness of the Sloans' relationship. But he remained silent for once, waiting for Steve to continue.

"I had my gun drawn, I could've shot him. I should've really, once he pulled his gun..." Steve took another gulp. "Fortunately Cheryl turned up and managed to disarm him. Dad, he was only twelve years old." Steve shut his eyes, wanting to block out the horror of seeing the child's face staring up at him with coldness and bitterness. How could a child so young be so full of hatred?

Mark squeezed Steve's shoulder again, feeling the horror himself, not only of the fact that a child so young was involved in such violence, but because a child so young could have easily killed his son.

"Steve, I'm just glad it ended up as it did. I know this must have been horrible for you, but it could have been worse…"

"Yeah, I could have shot a kid!" There was a note of bitterness in Steve's voice.

"Or the kid could have shot you! I know how you must be feeling but the fact is this "kid" had a gun drawn on you and you could've been killed. As it is, this has turned out in the best possible way." Mark spoke calmly, trying to fight back his reaction to the thought of Steve being shot—again.

"Yeah, Steve, I don't think Community General is ready to have you as patient again. It only just recovered from your last stay!" Jesse tried to joke in an effort to lighten the moment. Steve grinned weakly, but Amanda kicked him in the shins. "Ouch! There's no need for that, Amanda!"

"Steve, I know it's hard, but kids are just as deadly as adults, especially when they carry guns. All of us see this in our work and you know it's the truth." Amanda stood up and walked over to Steve, sitting on the arm of the sofa. She reached down to squeeze his hand. "You're a good cop, Steve, and a good man, and you wouldn't be you if you didn't care. But if you have a gun pointed at you, then you have to protect yourself and there's no one here would dispute that, or hate you for defending yourself and keeping yourself alive. A gun is a deadly weapon, whether an adult or a child is holding it."

Mark looked at Amanda in gratitude. Everything she said, he agreed with completely.

"That's right, Steve. I know it's hard to know you could have killed a child, but…" Mark swallowed. "The child could have killed you, and that's kind of hard for me to accept. I know I'd rather you shot him, than he shot you."

Steve sighed. He knew what they were saying made sense, but he was still grappling with the fact the kid had been so young. Looking down a gun was one thing, but looking into the very young face of the possible shooter was another.

"I know what you're saying, and the fact is if I was faced with the same situation tomorrow, I would be ready to shoot." I think, but Steve didn't voice his last doubtful thought. He'd already hesitated, what if he did again? "It's just this kid is so full of bitterness and anger. I tried to talk to him but he didn't want to know. Kept saying that pigs deserve to be blown away." Steve sighed; he didn't want to talk about this anymore. "Anyway, on to brighter subjects, what's for dinner?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Steve felt more relaxed after dinner. As he observed his father, he felt a little guilt at letting him know the details of his ordeal. His father was a strong and confident man, but Steve could detect signs of strain in his face and he knew he'd caused it. He usually tried to spare his dad the knowledge of what he faced, or what he could face, on a daily basis, but the events of that particular chase had really upset him badly. He wondered what his father would say if he had told him everything, how he'd actually hesitated and if it hadn't been for Cheryl, he may not have come home that night. Relaxing at last as he got into bed, he allowed his thoughts to relive the events of the morning.

"_Police! FREEZE!" Steve yelled to the fleeing suspect. But the suspect continued to run and disappeared into an alley. _

_Steve ran after him, trying to determine what direction the perp had taken. Just as he was about to move again, he turned and found himself facing his target. To his complete horror he found himself facing a child, not more than ten or eleven, and he was pointing a gun directly at his chest. _

"_I don't think so, pig. You're gonna drop your gun!" The voice was a young boy's, but the face full of anger and hatred was not the face of a child. Steve was truly shaken by the realization and the shock gave the boy the advantage._

"_All pigs deserve to be blown away, so whattcha gotta say for yourself?" The boy actually laughed as he recognized Steve's hesitation. _

_Normally Steve would have reacted, but for some reason he felt like he was frozen in time._

"_I don't think so, kid. You shoot that gun, and I'll shoot you," Cheryl's strong voice broke the tension as she approached the boy from behind. After a moment, he lowered the gun, and was quickly arrested by Cheryl, who handed him over to a waiting uniformed officer._

"_Steve, are you okay?" Cheryl's voice held a great deal of concern. She'd seen Steve's unusual hesitation and she could see he was still quite shocked._

_Steve nodded, but both he and Cheryl knew he wasn't. However, there wasn't time for further discussion so they both moved forward. _

Steve knew there could be consequences to his hesitation, and he wouldn't blame Cheryl if she put this in the report. However, she'd said nothing further at the time, and he'd been left to deal with his own gloomy thoughts. The resulting interview with the boy had done little to lift his spirits for he was facing a hardened and angry boy who showed little understanding or remorse for his actions. He considered himself to be a caring officer but when faced with such hatred it became difficult to remember why he did care, or why he bothered. What troubled him the most was why he was feeling like he was. Something about Sammy Peters had touched him, and he was left with feelings of uncertainty and doubt. Sammy would be tried as a juvenile, but the part of Steve who remembered staring down the gun and looking into the cold eyes, made him question whether this was right. He wanted to help but the questions were both why and how. All Sammy had said was that he'd wished he'd shot him for all pigs deserved to die. There was little doubt in Steve's mind that Sammy believed this, but it seemed terribly wrong that a kid could be so full of hatred. The entire incident had shaken Steve's confidence and his belief in the child protection services, or a society which allowed kids to fall through the cracks and become so embittered and angry at such a young age.

Sighing, Steve tried to block his unhappy thoughts as he finally drifted off to sleep.

Steve slept reasonably well all things considered. Every now and again Sammy's angry face would appear before him, but he had been tired enough to get some much needed rest. By the time he got up the next morning, he'd decided to try to put the unfortunate event behind him. The facts were that he hadn't shot a child, and he hadn't been shot himself and it was time to move on. It was a sad truth that the world had become a violent and frightening place and children were no longer children in many cases.

Mark had already left by the time Steve got up, but he was glad to see the coffee was still on. The phone ringing stopped his breakfast preparations.

"Sloan."

There was silence at the other end and Steve waited a moment before snapping again, "Sloan, here." The last thing he wanted, before his morning coffee, was a nuisance call.

"You're a dead man…"

"What?" Steve was startled, both at the message and the voice—a very young voice.

"You're a dead man. You shouldn't have arrested Sammy. If you want to live, you'll release him." The phone line went dead.

Steve was stunned as he replaced the phone and he walked slowly over to his coffee. So much for putting yesterday's incident behind him. It wasn't the first death threat he'd received, and almost certainly wouldn't be the last, but he couldn't recall receiving a threat from anyone so young for the voice had definitely sounded very young. He sipped his coffee as he considered his options. If he reported it, as he should, it could make more trouble for Sammy and he really didn't want to do that. Sammy was off the street and had been placed in detention, so there was no real reason to suspect he was behind the threat. If his friends had decided to try to force his release, then it wasn't really his fault. He remembered the conversation of the previous night when Amanda had correctly pointed out a child with a gun was as deadly as an adult. However, on remembering Sammy, he decided to keep it to himself. He couldn't explain why but he was feeling a strong sense of needing to protect Sammy and his previous decision to move forward from the incident was changed.

As Steve drove to work, he found himself still thinking about the situation. He wasn't particularly perturbed about the death threat, but part of him wanted to investigate and to try to find out more about Sammy. For some reason Sammy wasn't going to go away and it wasn't anything he could ignore although he wasn't sure why. When he arrived at work, he was met by Cheryl.

"Hey, Steve, how are you doing today?" Cheryl was both a friend and a partner, and she'd been very worried about him yesterday. She'd noticed his hesitation when he had a gun pointed at him, and she'd had to think a great deal about whether to mention it in her report or not. She'd decided that the hesitation had only been momentary so she would try to talk to her partner about it, rather than make life more difficult for him. She was painfully aware of how he took things to heart at times.

It was what made him who he was, a good man, and a good cop, but it also affected him badly at times. Cheryl sometimes feared he'd burn himself out, or become disillusioned with police work, but somehow he always bounced back.

"Yeah, I'm okay. What's the news on Sammy?" Steve asked quickly.

"He was taken to Juvenile Hall and he's awaiting a court hearing today. He was carrying a gun, so my guess is he'll be held there. Hey…" Cheryl saw the expression on Steve's face. "He's a violent young thug. Do you really think he should be roaming the streets?"

Steve shrugged. "He's also a kid and might benefit from a second chance." A flashback of the moment when he'd stared into the gun, and the cold, cruel eyes of Sammy came back. Steve hadn't seen any sign of remorse or worry, but he couldn't free himself of the knowledge that he was so young. Surely he could change if he was given a chance? So was putting him in a place for delinquent children such a good move? If he was surrounded by bad influences, what chance would he have? Steve knew he couldn't save them all, but if he could help Sammy surely that would be something. The feeling of needing to save him seemed to be increasing rapidly.

"Have you read his rap sheet?" Cheryl shook her head. She wouldn't want Steve to be any different than what he was, but she wished from time to time he didn't care so much. She'd hoped this case would be over with, but she had a feeling it was just starting. "He's been in and out of institutions since he was seven, and the last few offences have been with deadly weapons."

The phone ringing stopped the conversation and Steve reached over for it wearily. He knew Cheryl was right, but that didn't make the situation better. The call was a report of a body found in an old warehouse and he was grateful for the reprieve.

They drove in silence to the warehouse, both deep with their own thoughts, but when they arrived, no one was around. Steve looked at the address he'd been given and exchanged a glance with Cheryl. No uniformed officers, no spectators, the area was deserted. They got out of the car, looking around but the area was eerily quiet. Steve moved forward slowly, instinctively reaching for his gun. Cheryl moved back to the car to radio in. Something felt very bad and she wanted back-up.

Steve moved towards the warehouse cautiously, looking from side to side, but there was no sign of life. As he turned a corner, he neared a row of garbage cans and paused momentarily as he thought he heard a sound. Drawing his gun again, he kept walking forward, being taken completely by surprise as the garbage cans were pushed over, knocking into his legs and causing him to fall facedown, stunned. He started to struggle up, but he suddenly found himself with a weight pushing down on his back holding him down. As his hair was grabbed and head pulled back roughly he tried not to choke. He blinked as he saw the barrel of a gun being pressed into his face.

"You can be dead anytime, pig. You just make sure Sammy gets out, or you won't see me coming…" Steve tried to move, but he felt several pairs of hands holding him down and his hair was held firmly.

"Hold it right there! Drop your weapon! Police!" Cheryl's voice shouted at Steve's assailants. Steve breathed in relief as the hand loosened its hold on his hair, but his relief was short-lived as the gun barrel came down hard on his head, knocking him out. The last thing he was aware of was the sound of footsteps running and Cheryl shouting.

"Steve, are you okay?" Cheryl ran up to the prone figure of her partner. He was unconscious, with the blood flowing from the cut on his forehead. He smelled badly of the garbage but she was thankful to feel his pulse and to know he was still breathing. Although the assailants had only been teenagers, the blow to Steve's head had been vicious. They'd run off before she could get a clear enough look at them to make an identification, and she was far more worried about her injured partner. She reached for her cell phone and called for an ambulance.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for your reviews. I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

Chapter 3

Steve had regained consciousness as he was wheeled into the emergency room at Community General. He was coherent enough to protest at being taken to the hospital, but the paramedics simply ignored him. Jesse was standing at the nurses' station as he arrived. He didn't recognize his new patient at first, but at the sounds of protest the voice was all too familiar and he knew who it was. He ran to the stretcher and probed Steve's forehead gently.

"Steve! What have you been up to now?" The tone was light, but the concern in Jesse's face was unmistakable.

"I'm okay, Jess, let me go home…" Steve struggled to sit up, but Jesse was more than used to his friend's tricks and he pushed him gently but firmly down. It wasn't hard, since Steve had little strength.

"I'm okay…." Steve's voice was weak, and he knew he was fighting a losing battle.

"Yeah, sure you are. Take him to Exam room one and page Dr. Sloan, please." The last comment was addressed to a nurse standing next to him.

"Oh no, Jess, please, there's no need to tell my dad…" Steve groaned as he spoke. His head felt like it was about to split open, although he had no intention to admit to it.

"You must be concussed, Steve. Your dad would have my hide if I tried to hide any injury of yours from him! I'm not taking him on, not even for you." Jesse joked lightly.

By this time they were in the exam room, and Jesse was looking into Steve's eyes, trying to gauge their reactions to light.

Steve chuckled softly, although it ended up as another groan of pain. The thought of anyone being frightened of his gentle father was amusing, even to his aching head.

"I'd like to keep you in…." Jesse started to speak.

"NO! I'll go home and I'll be fine. Don't forget I live with a doctor." Steve protested before Jesse had the chance to finish the sentence.

"Yeah, and I know how good you'll be at obeying his orders too! Forget it, Steve, you're staying overnight for neuro obs, but if you're a very good boy, I'll release you tomorrow." Jesse started to write some notes in his file.

"Steve! Jesse, how is he?" Their discussion was interrupted by the hasty arrival of Mark, looking anxious and worried. His strain lessened a little as he saw Steve sitting up.

"I'm fine, Dad, and I'm just telling Jesse that I can go home now…"

"I believe your father was talking to me!" Jesse spoke sternly, knowing a battle was looming. "He has a slight concussion and I'd like to keep him in overnight, but all things being well, he should be able to go home tomorrow. We're going to have to give him a bath though. He's obviously been rolling around in something he shouldn't have!"

Steve scowled, knowing he had no chance of overriding Jesse now that his father was there. Not that he had much chance anyway, but his father's presence lessened his odds considerably. Mark correctly interpreted the scowl and patted his arm comfortingly.

"Cheer up, Steve, you're here in time for lunch! Providing you're not feeling sick or anything?" Mark looked at Steve questioningly as he spoke.

Steve brightened noticeably. "Lunch sounds real good. I do love the food you get here. It's the one thing that makes being here worthwhile." He lay back and closed his eyes, leaving the two doctors to exchange amused looks. Steve was the only person they knew who really enjoyed hospital food and it was one of the few arguments they could use to encourage him to stay. Even so it only worked on occasions.

Steve opened his eyes suddenly recalling what had brought him in. "Hey, is Cheryl okay? She was with me on the call!"

Jesse nodded. "She checked in to make sure you were okay, but had to report back to Newman."

"What happened, Steve?" Mark wanted to know how his son had been injured this time.

Steve frowned slightly, until he realized it hurt. His memories of what had happened were somewhat blurred.

"Something to do with garbage?" Jesse wrinkled his nose expressively. There was a definite strong and strange aroma emanating from Steve.

"Ummm, yeah, I think so. We got called out to a body, but there was no one there, not even uniformed officers. I got jumped, after having garbage cans thrown my way." Steve paused, trying to remember. "The voice, it was a kid's…." Unexpectedly Steve's voice started to trail off as a wave of tiredness swept over him. Hating to show any weakness, but unable to resist the lure of sleep, Steve's eyes started to close. Both doctors noticed this and exchanged another glance. Jesse jumped into action and called for a nurse.

"We're going to clean you up first, but then you're going to be given a bed for the night. You don't have to say anything more, Steve, just rest. At least until we have to wake you up again."

Steve groaned at those words. He knew all about head injuries unfortunately. He could look forward to being prodded and woken up and wouldn't even get a decent rest.

"We'll clean you up and get you a hospital gown until I can bring some of your clothes from home." Mark said quietly.

Steve nodded, as the nurse came in to assist with cleaning him up. There was no point in fighting the inevitable. Mark watched as his son was moved away; something was bothering him. A kid's voice?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Mark returned to his office after Steve had been settled in. It never got easier for him seeing his son injured but he was thankful that on this occasion the injuries had been relatively minor. He was still a little disturbed by what Steve had said about a kid's voice but he decided to put his concern to the side for the time being so that he could finish his report. His concentration was interrupted by a knock on his door and he looked up quickly.

"Come in." He was very surprised to see Cheryl walk in but greeted her warmly.

"Hello, Mark, how's Steve doing?" Cheryl smiled at Mark, but he could see she was worried.

"He's resting comfortably at the moment, and will be fine. He'll not be able to return to work for a

few days due to his concussion, but fortunately he got off lightly this time." Mark

sighed as he spoke. As a doctor he was very aware of how much worse it could have been.

"What's wrong, Cheryl?" Mark asked quietly.

Cheryl grimaced. Steve warned her that his father picked up on everything and she couldn't doubt it.

"I believe Steve was set up today by Sammy Peters' gang. The call out we had, and the attack. The kid that hit him in the head was just a kid. It seems Sammy has a younger brother, Bobby, and an older brother who goes by the name Snake."

Mark shook his head in dismay. "A gang? But Steve told me Sammy was only twelve!"

"These are street kids and they're dangerous and they blame Steve for Sammy's arrest. Their ages range from ten upwards. Snake is nearly fifteen. How much did Steve tell you about yesterday?" Cheryl asked.

Mark was puzzled, wondering what was coming now. His son did have a most unfortunate tendency to leave out certain pertinent details when something happened to him. He supposed it was Steve's way of wanting to protect him, but it often made him worry more, because he always knew there were facts being omitted. But he couldn't seem to convince his son of this. He braced himself for what was coming.

"Sammy was lucky it was Steve chasing him. I'm not saying he's soft, for you and I both know he's one of the best police officers around, but he does tend to err on the side of caution when it comes to shooting. Most other officers would have shot when they were fired at, but Steve held back. He also ended up looking down the barrel of a gun being held by one of the toughest kids I've ever seen!" Cheryl paused as she watched Mark absorbing the information.

Mark's face paled. Things had obviously been even worse than what Steve had revealed, and what he'd revealed had been bad enough. He shouldn't be surprised though, not with Steve's history for skimming over important details concerning dangerous situations. It was something he was going to discuss with him, again, one day in the not too distant future.

"The fact is, this kid is a hard case and there's no escaping the fact he runs with a wild mob." Cheryl smiled encouragingly at Mark. "This will blow over though, Mark. Sammy is in detention, and they'll realize they can't get him out by threatening police officers."

Mark took a deep breath. It seemed like they were in for another rough ride. "Maybe they'll turn their attention to revenge if he's incarcerated. Seems to me we do have a problem."

Cheryl shrugged, not knowing what to say. "Yes, we do have a problem but there's not a lot we can do. We can find the gang members, but we can't put them away forever. But I don't think that's our biggest problem really."

Mark looked up questioningly. "What is then?"

"I think Steve was more shaken by yesterday than he'll admit to. There's no question

he hesitated, and now he's been attacked by a gang of kids, I think he's…"

"Losing his confidence?" Mark asked doubtfully. He knew his son and believed this

might cause him to question the system, but his son was strong and confident and he

found it difficult to accept that he would lose his confidence over a situation like this.

"No, but I think he wants to help Sammy. If he involves himself with this kid, then I

think it could cause us more problems." Cheryl said.

"Steve wants to help everyone, Cheryl, you know that. Maybe he thinks he can reach Sammy. I'm not sure that is a problem and I'm definitely not sure I want to discourage him. Most people can do with a second chance." Mark was a little confused about Cheryl's reaction.

"I don't disagree with you totally, Mark, but I have read this kid's rap sheet. It's as long as your arm. There's a time when you just have to admit defeat, and this may be one of those times". Cheryl spoke quietly but firmly. She wasn't sure why she was so uneasy about this kid, but Steve had been affected by the events and something told her that the situation was nowhere near finished.

Mark looked at Cheryl as he pondered her words. Cheryl was a good person, and a good cop, and certainly not one he would have considered as heartless or uncaring. She provided a good balance with his more idealistic son, but he was like his son and preferred to believe the best in people. On the other hand, this kid could have killed Steve and he knew he wouldn't forgive that, however young the shooter had been. Nothing was simple or straightforward. He didn't know what to believe as he'd not met Sammy.

"I'm not sure if I agree with you, Cheryl, but I'm sure you know how I feel about Steve. I don't want to see him hurt, physically or emotionally." Mark's voice trailed off as he pondered all the things that could go wrong. There seemed to be many pitfalls in front of them.

"I know, and I respect that. I don't want to tell you, or Steve for that matter, what to do. I guess I just want to urge caution, whatever he decides. Look, I've got to go back to the precinct but I'll call in on Steve on the way out." Cheryl grinned suddenly. "Got to let my partner know what I think of his ducking out of the paperwork."

Mark grinned back, glad, not for the first time, of Cheryl's caring and friendship with Steve. "Thanks, Cheryl." Cheryl waved as she left, understanding the meaning behind the simple thanks.

Mark sat there thoughtfully after Cheryl had left. He had been more than a little disturbed by her visit and comments but he wasn't sure what to do. Trying to clear his mind of the very disturbing thoughts, he turned back to his report. Time enough to work out what had to be done when he took Steve home. But he was feeling very disturbed.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Steve was dozing when Mark went down to see him again. For a few moments, Mark stood at the door wondering if it would ever get easier seeing his son lying in a hospital bed. Most fortunately he wasn't hooked up to any life saving equipment this time, but it was still unsettling seeing his usually strong and active son lying in bed. Steve opened his eyes and watched his father, wondering what he was thinking so deeply about that he hadn't even noticed Steve was awake.

"Dad?"

Steve's quiet voice brought Mark back to reality and he walked in grinning at his sleepy son.

"How are you, son?"

"Tired. Every time I get to sleep, I get woken up by some nurse asking me what day it is." Steve sounded grumpy, but it was only half-hearted as he watched his father carefully. There was something on his dad's mind, unless he was very much mistaken, and he didn't think he was.

Mark grinned again and patted his arm as he pulled up a chair. "You know the drill by now, Steve. Can't take any chances with head injuries, even with your particularly hard head we have to be careful."

"What's up, Dad?" Steve didn't want to be sidetracked into another conversation.

Mark shrugged and tried to evade answering. "So, have you got a headache? Nausea?"

"No. What's wrong, Dad?" Steve was going to insist on an answer.

"Nothing. What makes you think anything is wrong?" Mark continued to be evasive.

"I know you, Dad, and you're worried about something. Can't be my condition because I know I'm okay."

Mark stood up. "You are okay, Steve and so am I."

"Do you think I'm letting you off the hook? You never do!" Steve spoke firmly, trying to convey to his stubborn parent that he meant business.

"But it doesn't always do me any good, does it?" Mark grinned slyly.

Steve grinned back slowly, acknowledging the truth. "Well? Maybe stubbornness runs in the family. Anyway, I do want you to tell me what's going on."

Mark sat down again. "I'm okay, I was just watching you lying in the bed and realizing that it will never get easier for me seeing you in hospital."

Steve was contrite. "I'm sorry, Dad."

"I'm not…" Mark corrected himself at Steve's surprised glance. "Well I'm sorry you get hurt so often, but I'd rather you here than the alternative."

Steve patted Mark's hand. "I know."

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Steve spoke up.

"Cheryl told me what happened. Seems a gang of kids attacked me this time." Steve paused for a moment. Mark watched him carefully, not wanting to interrupt and wondering what would ensue.

"Sammy Peters has some friends. I'm not worried about them, and I don't want you to either. But I do want to help him." Steve paused again, trying to gauge his father's reaction. Mark remained silent, but gave a small smile to encourage Steve to continue. "There's a chance that if I post bail for him, he'll be released and I would like to take him home and try to help him." Mark grimaced slightly, although it wasn't a complete surprise to him.

"You want to bring home a kid who could have killed you? And whose friends put you in hospital today?" Mark's voice was quiet and calm and it was difficult for Steve to gauge his true reaction.

"Yeah, I do, Dad, and not because of the attack. He's just so young, and we might be able to help him, but I need you to agree to this. After all, it's your home too." Steve looked at his father directly. "If you tell me no, then that's okay. I'm not going to fight you on this and I don't want to. It's going to be hard, and it will be hard on both of us, so I don't want to talk you into something you don't want to do. I might not even be able to bring him home anyway, I haven't asked yet. If you say no, that really will be okay with me. I am still going to help him but it will be in another way. I've been thinking about this a lot, Dad."

Mark touched Steve's bandaged forehead gently. It wasn't always easy being a parent, but the joys and pleasure far outweighed the pain. He'd never been so proud of his son, even though he had some grave misgivings about providing even a temporary home to a wild street kid, especially one who had already caused injury. He was a doctor, and he did believe in the basic goodness of people, but he'd discovered in himself a fierce protectiveness towards his only son and he couldn't think too kindly of someone who had hurt him. As a father, he would do anything to keep him safe. However, he wouldn't ever want to change Steve, and if that meant accepting a juvenile delinquent into his home, then he would. He would at least give it a try. It wasn't as if he never brought home strays himself! He only hoped neither of them would regret it.

"I know, son. Cheryl was talking to me before and I kind of guessed this is where you were heading. I'm happy to give it a trial, Steve, but if his gang hurt you, or it doesn't work out, then we'll have to sort something else out."

Steve was surprised at his father's quick decision. He'd expected some qualms, or questions, but as usual his father was providing him with his steady and unstinting love. He was letting him go with what was an impulsive and maybe unwise decision. Steve grabbed Mark's hand and squeezed it.

"Thanks, Dad. I've got to make some phone calls."

Mark's pager alarm sounded. "Well, it sounds like I'm needed. Just don't tire yourself out too much or try to discharge yourself in an attempt to get Sammy earlier. If you do that, then the deal is off!" Mark waved his hand in a mock threat.

"No, Dad, I don't want to discharge myself, I haven't had dinner yet!"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Steve would never admit it, but even the few phone calls he made exhausted him and his head was pounding. It had taken a lot of effort, and calling on favors owed to him by the social worker, Jane Landon, but he would take Sammy home the next day. Jane had tried to warn him against doing anything impulsive, but Steve was adamant and wouldn't be deterred. At last he won the argument, and it was arranged that he would collect Sammy the next day after being discharged from the hospital. Despite his apparent confidence and determination to win this battle, he found himself worrying about whether or not he was doing the right thing.

Memories of those cold eyes glaring at him came rushing back. He was well-used to dealing with people's hatred and anger, but rarely had he come across such a hard and bitter case at such a young age. Somehow though he knew he had to at least try, although he really couldn't explain why he was feeling so compelled to help someone who had wanted to kill him. But there was no ridding himself of the compulsion and he knew he was going to do what he had to do.

When he woke up the next morning, he was surprised to see Amanda sitting by his bed.

"Hey, Amanda, what's up?" Steve knew his friends cared about him, but it seemed unusual that Amanda would hold a vigil when he wasn't suffering from life threatening problems.

"Hi, Steve, how are you feeling?" Amanda reached over and stroked his forehead gently. Steve smiled at the gentle touch and concern he could feel from his friend.

"I'm fine. They're letting me out this morning. Although I'm hoping to get some breakfast first." Steve grinned widely at the thought. The one thing that made hospital stays slightly more palatable to him was the knowledge he would get to eat some good meals.

Amanda shook her head as she replied. "I don't know another person in the world who enjoys hospital food. Not even the staff! I'm not on duty for another half an hour and I wanted to have a quick word with you."

Steve was immediately alarmed. "Is it Dad? What's wrong?" He struggled to sit up, his panic making him clumsier than he normally was.

Amanda touched his shoulder softly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Your dad is fine. I just left him a few moments ago. I wanted to have a word with you about this Sammy."

Steve sighed with relief. "Okay, that's all right then. You did scare me a bit. I guess I'm just a bit paranoid."

"No more so than Mark is!" Amanda smiled gently at her friend. She'd been friends with both Sloans for longer than she cared to remember, and she knew all too well the close bond they shared. She only hoped she and her children would be as close when they became adults.

Steve chuckled. He knew all too well how much his father worried about him. "I guess we're pretty hopeless."

"I wouldn't say that, Steve. Most people would give a great deal to have what you and your dad share." Amanda said seriously.

Steve looked surprised at the comment. He didn't take his father for granted, at least he didn't think he did, but he supposed he took their relationship for granted. He found it difficult to comprehend others didn't share the closeness with their fathers that he did with his. It had been something he'd had all his life, and it was hard to realize it wasn't the norm.

"I didn't come to talk to you about you and your dad. I wanted to talk about Sammy. I just want you to know what you're taking on." Amanda looked straight at Steve, in a way that slightly unnerved him.

"I know it won't be easy, Amanda. The kid pointed a gun in my face and I saw his expression…" Steve's voice trailled off.

"You know I love Dion, and I wouldn't give him up for anything, but dealing with an abused child is difficult. Dion had the advantage of still being very young, and he wasn't a street thug."

Steve bristled slightly at the words, although he knew it was true. "I'm not adopting him, Amanda, I just want to give him a place to stay before his trial. He will definitely have to stand trial for shooting up the store, and pulling a gun on me. Judging from his record, he'll probably even have to do some time in a detention center. But he's only twelve, how can I not try to help him?"

Amanda patted Steve's hand. "I know you're just helping out, I just want you to know it won't be easy. Dion is coming along really well now, but it's been very tough. When a child has been so hurt, it isn't easy for them to trust, and it has taken me nearly two years to get this far with him. I don't regret it for a moment, but I know he came to me before permanent damage could be done. For Sammy, at twelve, to be so wild, it's a fair bet that he's been abused, or at least has had a tough life. I'm not sure it won't be too late for him, and what I said the other night is still true. A gun is a deadly weapon, whether it be held by a child or an adult. Just be careful, Steve, that's all I'm saying. Be careful and be patient."

Steve grabbed her hand and squeezed it. He knew she was right. Before he could say anything, breakfast was brought in. He grinned widely as he observed the large helping of strange looking bacon and eggs, toast and coffee.

"Would you like some?"

Amanda grimaced in disbelief at the pleasure on Steve's face as he looked at the food. "No thanks, Steve, I'll pass. I should report for duty now." She turned to go.

"I appreciate what you're saying, Amanda, thank you. I know this won't be easy, and it might not even work out. I've got to consider dad and how this will affect him, but I do have to try." Steve spoke quietly but firmly.

Amanda smiled back. "I know, Steve, I just wanted to warn you. Be careful! And watch what you're eating!" With a final grimace towards the food, and a wave towards Steve, Amanda left.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Steve was discharged after breakfast, and Mark announced he would drive him to pick up Sammy.

"That's not necessary, Dad." Steve protested.

"Yes it is. You have a concussion and I don't want you driving today. Besides, I'm quite anxious to meet our new house guest."

Steve looked at Mark, searching for signs of sarcasm. There was none. Just the usual fatherly concerned expression that both frustrated and warmed Steve at the same time. He was honest enough to admit to himself how much he valued and relied on his father's concern and love, although he thought sometimes that his father forgot he was a grown adult.

"Let's go then," Steve grinned happily.

Jane Landon had arranged to pick up Sammy while Steve was in the hospital and he was sitting there sullenly in her office when the Sloans arrived. He smirked as he recognized Steve.

"I guess you got the message, pig, and decided to let me go." Sammy's voice had a hard edge to it, and seemed incongruous for such a young boy. But the expression on his face matched his voice. Jane sighed, feeling very strongly that this was going to end in disaster.

"You're coming home to stay with us. This is my father, Dr. Sloan." Steve spoke firmly, ignoring the misgivings he was already feeling. The kid might only be twelve, but he sure was a tough one.

"Yeah, whatever. I bet you decided you wanted to live. Bye, lady." He sauntered out, leaving the three adults staring after him.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing, Steve?" Jane asked with some anxiety. She cared about her clients a great deal, but she cared about Steve as well. She'd worked with him over the years and had found him to be always compassionate and caring for those less fortunate. She'd never seen him quite like this though, and she was feeling very uneasy.

"You're the social worker, Jane, I thought you would support me." Steve said impatiently.

"Oh I do support you, Steve, it's just this kid has trouble written all over him. Some kids don't, but this one does." Jane replied hastily.

Mark just watched the interchange. The moment he saw Sammy he knew why Steve was so determined to help him, whether the boy wanted it or not, and it chilled him to the bone and he felt his heart sink. In fact he couldn't ever recall feeling such a strong sense of dread. Sammy was a dead ringer for Steve's childhood friend, Robby. It was strange that Steve hadn't mentioned the resemblance, and Mark wondered if Steve really didn't see it. In any case, he knew they were in for a very difficult time. He shook his head mentally and tried to pull himself together.

"Well I'm going to try to help him, Jane. Thanks for your help," Steve said firmly. He then turned to follow Sammy out of the room.

Mark flashed a small grin at Jane and she grinned back. They'd all been friends for too many years to fall out over a slight disagreement.

"Good luck", she mouthed. Mark grimaced, knowing they were going to need it, especially if Sammy brought back unfortunate memories from a time long past. Steve hadn't shown any signs of this, but Mark knew he'd have his own demons, and those of Steve's to fight. He sighed deeply at the thought. It was time to start the process.

Sammy had remained silent in the car, ignoring the efforts of Steve and Mark to get him to talk. They exchanged glances and fell silent. When they drove up the driveway of the beach house, Sammy whistled.

"So this is my new prison, eh?"

"It's not your prison, Sammy. It's a place for you to stay and we want you to be happy here." Steve stumbled a little as he spoke. He wasn't sure what he should say or do and he fully realized how difficult this situation was going to be.

"Yeah, whatever. Have many problems with break-ins round here?" Sammy's eyes were deliberately innocent as he looked at Steve who just grimaced quickly.

"Not really. Most places are well secured." Steve got out of the car too quickly and felt slightly dizzy. Fortunately his dad didn't notice for Mark was sitting in the car still watching as Sammy got out. The resemblance was uncanny and unnerving, and he found himself reflecting on a time that was much better forgotten. The only thing that worried him was Steve's apparent complete lack of recognition. Steve seemed to know subconsciously that he wanted to help Sammy, but nothing else. Mark sighed. All he could do was be there for Steve to try to make this work, but every instinct in him told him they were doomed to fail.

Sammy remained quiet as he was shown around the house, and to his bedroom. Unknown to Mark and Steve, he had already checked out the security system and was making plans. He had no idea why he'd been brought here. Never before had any adult tried to help him and he couldn't believe Steve didn't have an ulterior motive, especially as he was a pig. He'd also noticed the older man watching him and knew out of the two, he was the one to beware of. For whatever reason, the pig claimed to want to help him but Sammy hadn't sensed that from the older man. He seemed a little fixated on him but it didn't seem to stem from concern.

It wouldn't matter for long. He'd settle in and then go back to where he belonged. Of course, there was no reason why he shouldn't benefit from this unexpected assistance. There were lots of nice things in the house and he could bring Snake and the guys back one evening. He'd have to be careful for he didn't want to be put back in the detention center, but he saw no reason why he and his friends shouldn't take advantage of the situation and benefit.

Steve was happily unaware of Sammy's thoughts, but Mark had a strong idea. He'd watched Sammy observe Steve disarming the security system and he had to hold back from saying something. Even the fact that Steve did that in Sammy's presence was completely out of character for the policeman side of his son, but there was no question that Steve was not his usual self.

There was no point in revealing to Sammy or Steve that he didn't trust Sammy - not yet anyway. He wanted to have a chance to talk to Steve properly but feared it was going to be difficult now Sammy was there. He fervently wished he'd seen Sammy before agreeing to this trial.

Sammy had decided on a plan of action. He decided he wouldn't cause too much trouble to start with so he even went to bed without too much protest. He needed time to think anyway, time away from the far too perceptive blue eyes of the older Sloan. Steve and Mark sat outside so they could talk, but now the opportunity had come, Mark didn't find it easy.

"He's going to be difficult. He's so full of hatred and anger and can't seem to trust anyone." Steve spoke first.

"Yes, he is, but nothing worthwhile happens quickly. It's going to take some time and patience." Mark paused.

"You still willing to go along with this?" Steve asked his dad. He was very aware of his father's tension and he didn't want to cause him any further anxiety.

"Yes, Steve, I am. But I want to ask you something." Mark hesitated again.

"Anything, Dad. What's up?"

"I know you really feel you want to help this kid, but do you know why?" Mark waited, not sure what answer he wanted.

Steve shrugged. "No, not really. In fact at first all I could remember was the look in his eyes as he held the gun on me. But somehow I couldn't forget him and I just felt bad that someone so young seemed so hard. Is it wrong to want to try to help?"

"Of course not, son." But there are times you cannot help Mark thought, but he kept the thoughts to himself. "Does he not remind you of someone?" Mark just blurted out the question but Steve just looked at him blankly.

"No, I don't think so." Steve's expression couldn't be faked and Mark was very disturbed. He knew much of the Robby days had been blanked from Steve's mind, but he also felt that Steve's connection to Sammy may have reawakened the memories. It seemed not. The human mind was an amazing thing sometimes. Obviously something was triggered in Steve to make him want to help, but not enough for the full memory to return. For the first time, Mark felt completely at a loss as to what was best to do. He decided to take a plunge.

"Not even Robby Waters?"

Steve looked stunned at the reference. "Nnno, why should he remind me of Robby?" He stammered slightly.

Mark was growing more concerned by the minute. Steve obviously remembered Robby but there were obviously some issues.

"You don't think Sammy looks like Robby?" Mark knew he had to persist now.

Steve frowned in thought. "I hadn't thought about it, but then I haven't thought about Robby for many years." It was true, he hadn't, but unbidden thoughts came flashing into his mind and he turned away from his father as he grappled with them. An angry young boy at school, picking fights even with him, a bruised young boy with tears in his eyes as he spoke of his brutal stepfather, and worst of all….Steve literally staggered as the full force of the memory hit him. The day he died… Steve stumbled away from the house, needing some time to think. Mark followed, but at a distance, his concern increasing tenfold as Steve walked towards his car.

"Steve…" He spoke firmly. "We need to talk."

Steve turned his stricken face to his dad. "I know, dad, and I will, but I just need to…I haven't…." He couldn't continue. "Can you watch Sammy? I need to think…"

Mark bit down on his lip. He didn't want Steve driving in this condition, apart from the emotional state, he could still be a little concussed. But before he could say another word, Steve had jumped in his car and reversed out. Mark could only watch helplessly as his son drove away.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Mark walked slowly back into the house. He wanted to follow Steve, but he knew his son would come back and there was never any point in pushing him before he was ready to talk. But the desperate worry he was feeling was overwhelming and he knew he really needed to talk to someone. He reached for the phone and called Jesse who immediately said he'd come right over.

Jesse was very concerned at the white and strained face of his friend and mentor. He usually only got into this state when it was something to do with Steve and he had noticed Steve's car was absent. Mark led Jesse outside so they could talk.

"I don't know, Jesse, the moment I saw Sammy I thought of Robby. I don't think Steve did consciously, and now all the memories have come back at once. He shouldn't have driven away, and I shouldn't have let him." Mark was almost stammering.

Jesse placed a comforting hand on Mark's shoulder. Mark was talking like Jesse should know what he was talking about but he didn't. He wasn't sure how to say this but Mark quickly realized himself.

"I'm sorry, Jesse, I didn't mean to go on. You know Steve has brought this street kid home?"

Jesse nodded.

"When I saw him, I knew he was like a double for Robby Waters, an old school friend of Steve's." Mark sighed as he spoke.

Jesse was surprised. "I wouldn't have thought Steve hung around street kids?"

Mark half grinned. "No, he didn't, and Robby didn't start out wild. Actually he was very much like Steve in many ways, but his father died when he was ten, and his mother remarried very shortly after. Unfortunately the stepfather was a bully and a drunk. I don't think any of us saw it at first, or maybe we didn't want to. Don't forget this was thirty odd years ago, and domestic violence, although it existed, was not talked about or even acknowledged as a major social issue. Not like it is today. Had Robby been born later, he could have been saved." Mark sighed again, all his old feelings of regret and guilt surfacing. He still felt bad he hadn't seen what was coming. Jesse reached out to touch his shoulder again.

"You just said it, Mark, things were different then."

"But I was a doctor. I knew something was wrong. He'd come to our house but not feel up to playing with Steve. He was overly emotional….I don't know, something was wrong." Mark sighed deeply again. "He started getting into trouble for skipping school and one day Steve came home with a black eye. He refused to tell me what happened, but it seemed obvious he'd been in a fight. I didn't know it was a fight with his best friend until later. Steve was changing too, he'd become moody and difficult and secretive. I tried to find out what was going on but Steve just shrugged me off. One night he came home particularly subdued and came and sat next to me on the sofa. He was about eleven at the time and it was unusual but he put his arms around me and told me he was glad I was his dad." Mark fought back tears at the memory. "I told him I was glad he was my son too, and asked if there was something wrong. I knew he wanted to talk, and I know he was going to, but Katherine and Carol came in. We never did get that moment back." Mark paused again. "I should have tried harder, but Steve seemed to cheer up and we got back to normal. Or so I thought. The time was running out but I didn't know that. In a nutshell, Robby's behaviour deteriorated and he started hanging out less with Steve, and more with a really rough crowd. He was arrested for stealing and causing criminal damage, and finally, he was killed." Mark paused as he relived that terrible day. Taking a deep breath, he continued.

"Steve was at school when they came to arrest Robby for beating up an old woman. He fought to escape and ran straight into a moving car." Mark paused again, but Jesse remained quiet for once, horrified by what he was hearing. Nothing he knew about the Sloans would have prepared him for what Mark was telling him.

"Everything seemed to fall apart after this. Steve was devastated, of course, and at first I was worried he was going to run wild too. But instead of rebelling, he seemed to want to stay at home more and be with me and Katherine. Eventually things improved and we moved on, but Steve never spoke to me about Robby. When we did sit down to talk he told me he didn't want to think about Robby anymore because it hurt too much. He told me he loved me and loved his mom and Carol and that was all that mattered. It wasn't, of course, we never dealt with anything, but he did seem to recover. I never realized until today that he moved on by burying it all in his mind. Now it's all come back with a rush and I'm terrified for him." Mark spoke very softly.

Jesse continued to listen in shocked silence. It was an appalling tragedy and it took him a few minutes to try to comprehend the level of what had happened.

"Oh Mark, what a terrible tragedy. I just don't know what to say. But I'm not sure it's such a bad thing for Steve to remember…" Jesse held up his hand against the protest he could see forming from Mark. "No, I know what you're going to say, but you're thinking like a loving father, not a doctor. These memories were bound to come back. He's obviously lived a good life without them, but it was only a question of time, and you know that. He's an adult now, and has learned to deal with some pretty nasty stuff in his job so he's in a better place to be able to cope with it all now. Maybe he looks at Sammy as a chance to help Robby, you're probably right about that, but is it so bad? He has you to support him and he's a good and caring man. He's not going to do something stupid, and you're there to help him. You know how he keeps things inside. He's probably just found a corner so he can let out these long pent up emotions, but he'll come back and he'll talk to you when he's ready."

Mark nodded slowly. He knew Jesse was right, but he hated seeing Steve in pain. "What if he can't help Sammy? Don't you think that will bring the trauma back tenfold?"

"Maybe he will help Sammy. You never know." Jesse was ever the optimist.

Mark shook his head. "I don't think so. I might be wrong, but I think he was casing our place and is planning on robbing us."

"It's his first day, you can't tell yet." Jesse protested.

Mark knew though, he had a deep gut feeling and he trusted his instincts always. They rarely let him down. He just knew Sammy wasn't about to be helped by the Sloans and he feared the further pain this would cause Steve.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Sorry for the very long delay in posting. Real life is a pain at times, and I've had some major computer problems.

Mark had been determined to wait up for Steve, but he'd managed to fall asleep after Jesse was called back to the hospital. The sound of Steve's truck returning woke him.

A weary looking Steve made his way into the lounge. Despite the lateness of the hour, he knew his dad would still be up and sure enough Mark was sitting on the sofa. He'd obviously just woken up, but at least he hadn't gone to bed.

"I'm sorry, Dad." Steve was tired but he knew he had to talk to his father. This wasn't the time for avoidance.

"It's okay, Steve." Mark stood up. "Do you want a drink?"

Steve shrugged. He did, but he didn't think it was a good idea. "What about coffee? I'll put it on."

Mark nodded and followed Steve into the kitchen.

"Sammy asleep?" Steve asked.

Mark hadn't even given him a thought and he half-grinned. "I think so. I haven't seen him or heard him."

"I'll just check," Steve smiled wearily at his dad as he went to check the guest room. He came back in a couple of minutes. "It's okay, he's still there."

Deliberately concentrating on making the coffee, Steve remained silent as he poured the drinks and then indicated to his dad to come downstairs.

"Probably best if we talk downstairs as I don't want to disturb Sammy."

Mark followed willingly, not unsurprised by Steve's willingness to talk. He sat down with his coffee and waited as he knew better than to push his son. He was surprised when Steve sat down next to him on the sofa, rather than on the chair opposite. But he made no comment. He'd do whatever it took to help his son.

"I haven't thought of Robby for years," Steve began in a conversational manner, almost as if talking about the weather. He leant back in the sofa and stared up at the ceiling. The movement of his hands, the clenching and unclenching of his fists being the only indication of his distress.

"I hadn't forgotten him, but I just hadn't thought of him, and I really didn't see that Sammy looks like he did. But you're right – he does." Steve paused. Mark waited patiently.

"When Robby's father died, he was devastated. He loved him so much and he always said that he and I were very lucky when it came to our folks." Steve flashed a quick but weary smile at his dad before he started staring at the ceiling again. "His mother remarried about six months after his father died and I don't think he understood why. It was so soon." Steve paused again. It was difficult going over this old painful time but he knew he had to. "His stepfather hated him and I know he really did. I remember going around to his place one day after school and all I could hear was the sound of crying and shouting. I wanted to run back and tell you but Robby came out and he begged me not to say anything. I think he was worried about his mother turning on him. But, Dad, he had cuts and bruises all over his face…." Steve's voice broke.

Mark didn't know what to say, so he just put his hand on Steve's shoulder to give it an encouraging squeeze.

"I should have told you, I know that, especially now. But I didn't want to make it worse for him. He started to change—his temper got real bad and he even hit me one day. He was very sorry after but he seemed to lose control. Do you remember?"

Steve turned to look at his dad.

Mark nodded. "Yes I do. I remember you coming home upset and with a black eye. I also remember how he started running with a really wild crowd."

Steve nodded sadly. "Yeah, I tried to stick with him but he pushed me away. Looking back I think he pushed me away deliberately but I didn't realize at the time. Everything became such a mess. I should have been there, Dad, I should have helped him." Steve swallowed hard, trying hard to fight back the tears.

Mark put his arm around his son's shoulders. Steve leaned back into him, for once accepting the comfort without argument. "He started hanging out with the toughest boys in the school and skipping classes. He'd come to school bruised and obviously hurt. One day in particular was real bad. I joined him at lunch time and he was crying. He told me his mother had hit him. She was upset with him because he was upsetting his stepfather. I could hardly believe him, hardly believe his own mother would do that to him. Why, Dad, why?" Steve couldn't hold back the tears anymore and Mark just held him close. Mark was appalled and horrified that he hadn't seen what was happening to Steve's friend, and he had no real answer for his son.

"I don't know, Steve, I will never know how any parent can hurt a child." Mark whispered. Even when he'd been angriest at Steve during his rebellious period, it would never have occurred to him to raise a hand against him, or to hurt him in anyway. As a doctor, he'd seen many cases of child abuse over the years and it never ceased to sicken him. As a father he found it completely incomprehensible. As he remembered the angry young friend of his son's, he could only feel guilt and regret that he hadn't seen what was happening.

"It's not right, Dad, people hurting each other, especially families." Steve spoke softly.

"No, it's not right, Steve. I don't know why it happens, even after all these years of being a doctor. I don't understand how or why." Mark didn't know what to say to Steve, knowing he had no acceptable answers for him.

"I just didn't believe Robby's own mother would hurt him so. But I must have hurt him too, by not believing him. But she was his mother," Steve's voice changed to anger as he remembered his friend and the bruises which had colored his face. "She'd hurt him badly. I know this happens, especially now. I see a lot of violence in my job but I don't think I ever get used to the fact parents can lay into their kids like that."

"Me neither, Steve. I see a lot of abused kids come through and unfortunately it does seem to be a growing epidemic. But I don't understand why, or how it can happen. But I do know you can't blame yourself for Robby. If anyone is to blame, then it should be me. I'm a doctor, and I saw him changing before my eyes. I thought it was just grief and anger over the loss of his father but in hindsight I should have seen the signs."

"It wasn't your fault, Dad, and I don't blame myself really," Steve hesitated for a moment. "I don't think I do anyway," He pulled himself forward so he no longer had Mark's arm around his shoulders but he turned back and gave a slight grin. "I was too young myself to know what to do but I should have been a better friend to him. If I had, then maybe he wouldn't have been killed. I saw that you know…." Steve's voice tapered off and Mark hoped he'd misheard what Steve had said.

"What did you say?" Mark asked hoarsely.

"I saw him hit by a car. The police came to the school to arrest him and he ran out. I was hiding behind the gym shed and I saw the car hit him. He…." Steve's voice broke and Mark moved forward again and put his arm around his son's shaking shoulder. He was having trouble grasping the enormity of what Steve was telling him.

"I knew you were at the scene, but I thought you'd gone out after the accident. Why didn't you tell me?" Mark tried to keep his words soft, but the shock he'd received made him sound sharper than he intended. Knowing this, he rubbed Steve's arm gently, trying to convey his horror and sorrow.

"I knew something was going to happen. Robby had been jumpy that day and he wanted to talk to me. We'd arranged to meet at lunch time but the police came and he ran into an oncoming car. Funny thing is, I had never thought about it since. It was all such a blur….and even now, I can only see images flashing in my mind." Steve sighed deeply as he lay back on the sofa.

Mark was stunned and horrified and unsure of what to say as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"You saw Robby get hit by a car? Oh Steve…" Mark's voice trailed off, his mind still reeling from this unexpected shock. Memories from that tragic day came back to him – Steve's white and shocked face. Should he have realized Steve had seen it all? Had he missed some vital signs? It was more than understandable that Steve would have been shocked by the sudden death of his best friend and that's all it had seemed to be. Mark stood up suddenly, trying to grapple with the implications and the knowledge he hadn't seen the depth of his own son's pain and shock.

Steve recognized the turmoil his father was in and even with his own turbulent emotions, he wanted to help. He leaned forward and grabbed Mark's arm.

"Dad, you couldn't have known. I'm not even sure I accepted it at the time. It's all such a blur and I'm not sure what exactly I do remember from it. You were there and holding me, and that's all I needed," Steve didn't even realize he had fresh tears running down his face as he relived the terrible day. "The strongest memory I have is you holding me close and telling me everything would be okay. I had to believe that, and I did. You were so sure it would be….and I needed to believe it."

Mark was still stunned by it all, but he turned back to his son and sat down close to him. He put his arm around Steve's shoulder.

"I just wish I'd known you'd seen it." Mark whispered.

"You did all you could, Dad, and that was more than enough. I don't know if you remember but I didn't go out much for awhile after. I just wanted to stay home with you and mom and Carol and to know you were there. You were – always. Do you remember a morning, not long after, when I woke up feeling sick. You should have gone to work but you didn't. You stayed with me, even though mom was home and I remember feeling how lucky I was. I still think I won the jackpot with my parents." Steve managed a small grin. Mark responded although he was still feeling very shaken.

"It's okay, Dad, really. I don't remember the details and I'll be okay. When I first saw Sammy something told me I had to help him and I really want to try. I didn't know why, but I guess I do now." Steve's voice trailed off.

Mark watched him as he spoke, knowing he had to be very careful with what he said next. His arm was still protectively around his son's shoulder and he gripped his shoulder briefly. "You have to remember that Sammy isn't Robby, and you may not be able to help him." Mark shook his head and held up his hand as he could Steve starting to respond. "No, let me finish. You're a good man, Steve, and you know that I support you in anything you do but I just see some pitfalls ahead and it wouldn't be fair for me not to say anything. We've both had some shocks lately and I need you to know that nothing that happened in the past was your fault, and if Sammy doesn't work out then that isn't your fault either. Robby had a good family before it went bad, but you have no idea what Sammy has gone through. Just be careful, Steve, and know that I'm here to help you. You don't have to do this on your own." Mark sighed as he finished speaking. He wasn't sure if he'd said what he wanted to, or if it was enough. Part of him wanted to kick Sammy out and to tell Steve to forget it, but he knew his son and he knew he was going to have to at least try to help. He couldn't ask him to be less than he was, even though his instincts were yelling at him that they were heading for trouble.

Steve's eyes had lightened and he looked at his father with deep affection shining through. The whole evening had been an emotional roller coaster for him, bringing back long-forgotten memories of a difficult time. His father, as usual, was more than being there for him and helping him. He'd meant what he said earlier – he had always felt lucky with his parents and his father had come through again, at a time when he would have every right to protest or to at least argue about bringing a street kid home. Steve threw his arm around his father and hugged him close. No words were needed as they both absorbed the comfort of the other.

"It's going to be an interesting day tomorrow, so let's get some sleep," Steve was the one to break the moment but the look he gave his father revealed the depth of emotion he was feeling.

Mark wasn't sure what he felt, but he was grateful for his son's openness with him and the fact they were talking easily. He'd always felt that as long as the lines of communication remained open between parents and their children, anything could be weathered and he'd tried very hard over the years to maintain this resolve. Steve wasn't always the easiest person to get to open up, but he believed strongly in their relationship and he'd never had cause to doubt it, even when Steve wasn't always as prepared to talk about things which bothered him. He was still bothered that he'd had no idea of what his son had witnessed at the time. He remembered well the day he'd chosen to stay home with his sick son rather than go to work. It had been his emotional state which had worried him more than his physical ailment, and he'd felt the need to stay close, without even really knowing why. Steve had said little but had stuck close to him and he knew he'd made the right decision. Deciding enough had been discussed that night, and they did need some sleep, Mark wanted to say just one more thing.

"Okay, but I want you to promise to talk to me if anything happens with Robby…" In his tiredness Mark didn't realize the slip with the name but Steve did. He decided not to say anything for he was as aware as his father was of the fact they were on a slippery road.

"I promise, now let's go to bed." With a final hug, Mark turned to go back upstairs. It had been an emotional and shattering evening.


End file.
